3 Promises to Yourself to Help Cope with Depression

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Getting to Know Depression and My Experience

With fall approaching and winter around the corner, I want to take some time out and talk about depression. Depression comes in many forms, sometimes at a constant, seasonal, or sporadically in episodes. To give you a glimpse of my perspective on the matter, I am by no means a trained professional, but I have had it for most of my life and almost constantly. I have worked with therapists for many years and have dedicated the last 6 years to studying depression and trying to find a deeper meaning and causes of it. Due to some unfortunate addiction issues, I cannot take any medication for it, so I have worked with a professional to set up routines and other tools to help mitigate the effects of depression.

Whenever I see people having a hard time online, I try to reach out and the few that do respond back and choose to open up, I have noticed some usual patterns that keep them stuck in the same valley of loathing. These patterns align with what I experience daily or have in the past, as well as match up things my therapist and I have discussed. In this article we will be going over those patterns and some promises you can make to yourself to help recognize and break them.

I am not promising a cure or fix because the truth of the matter is you need to get down to the root of the problem. From what I have observed, most problems generally stem from two categories which are early childhood trauma or chemical imbalance. Both can be treated, but with different approaches to each. I recommend the first step for either case is to seek help and talk to someone. As always, talk to your doctor to see if a prescription may be right for you.

Signs of Depression and Therapy

The most common signs I recognize with depression is general fatigue, over eating, restlessness, irritability, memory issues, feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in hobbies, over shopping, thoughts of suicide, pornography addiction, or the opposite in a lack of interest in sex. As you see, there are many stems in which behaviors rooting from depression can grow from. It is up to you to self-reflect and ask yourself if you are having these feelings, and if you are asking yourself that question, I urge you to speak with someone about your feelings because it is better to be safe than sorry.

I know finding the right therapist can be hard. I had to try many different ones before I could find one that worked because some people just don’t match up, and that is okay and it is not your fault, the simple truth is not everyone is meant to get along. Here are some tips I found when trying to find a therapist.

  1. Check with your Insurance
    • If you have insurance, check with them. Most insurances cover mental health help.
  2. Google search “Sliding Scale Therapy in My Area”
    • There are some therapist that will work on a sliding scale, meaning they work with your budget. I have used this before, and it has saved my life and my wallet, and I am forever grateful for those who are willing to take a pay cut to help the less fortunate.
  3. Online Help
    • I do not have personal experiences with these, but there are online resources you can use. I included two paid ones, and one free.

Now that we got that covered, lets move on to some the promises we can make ourselves to help pull us out of those everyday ruts.

The Promises

Most days I usually wake up and the first thing I say to myself is “I’m staying in bed all day.” I know I can’t realistically do that, but the temptation is always there, always looming and waiting for the day I give in. When I talk to other people, some of the first things they mention they have lost interest in is personal hygiene and clean living spaces. These two things can be wildly detrimental to your mental and physical health. These are some of the steps that I use everyday to stop those feelings from taking over. Promise yourself to do these every day and you will see a difference in the way your mornings and days go.

1.      Brush Your Teeth First Thing in the Morning

Sounds simple enough right? I’m sure most of you already do it, but to someone fighting depression, some of the simplest mundane tasks become mountains to climb, and this is an easy one to neglect for the sake of sorrow. As soon as you wake up in the morning, ignore your phone and head to the restroom and brush your teeth. I know you may like brushing after breakfast, but start doing it before from now on, you can always do a light brushing after eating or use some mouthwash to clean things up. The goal here is to get you out of bed and already accomplishing a task for the very first action of your day.

2.      Clean Your Area

This is usually the thing I see the most with depression, is dirty living or work areas. It is essential that you relieve as much clutter around you as possible. I know this may seem insurmountable, but I promise you the first time is the hardest. Once the room is clean the first time, everyday after that you just have to keep it up. Throw a sock in the hamper here, take some dishes to the sink there, and with very little effort you will feel very accomplished and less surrounded by problems. I know this is easier said than done, so here is a little checklist and guide to getting you through it.

  • Put on some music or a podcast
  • Open any blinds, curtains and let the sunlight in.
  • Take out food and trash
  • Pick up clean and dirty clothes from the floor, remove them from the room and wash everything, let’s start with a clean and fresh slate.
  • Separate the room into 4 sections and start with the section closest to the door.
  • Pick up any random appliances or accessories laying around ( e.g. headphones, video game covers, etc. ) and put them into a pile.
  • Dust any shelves, cabinets.
  • Vacuum or mop the floors.
  • Make the bed or fold any blankets laying on the couch or chairs.
  • Sort and organize your accessory piles into their correct locations.
  • Fold your clothes and put them in the correct location or make one if there is none.
  • Pat yourself on the back and celebrate your hard work.

By taking these steps, you should have a clean and organized room by the end of the day. You will feel like a million pounds has been lifted off your shoulders and you can be proud of what you have accomplished. Maintain this cleanliness everyday and remember the feeling that you had when it was fresh and clean.

3.      Take a shower

After you have brushed your teeth and cleaned your area, take a shower and relax. Take deep breaths in, let the water run over you and think about all that you have in life. Your friends, pets, family, a funny movie or book, any moment you can recall that gave you good feelings. This is the time to clean yourself and your soul and to appreciate everything. Things may be bad now, but I promise you they will get better, but you can’t take the things you have now for granted. Having self-love is the richest treasure you could ever hold, and once you learn to appreciate it, no one can ever take it away.

Wrapping it up

If you can keep these three promises to yourself every day, you will start it in the best possible way. What we did was build micro accomplishments at the very start so the rest of the days challenges seem manageable. Remember, if the rest of the day does seem too stressful its okay to take a break for a while, breathe, relax, appreciate yourself. I know it is difficult living in a world where they only value people by their production, but you are more valuable than any material on this planet. Your happiness will result in better production, so let’s take care of the roots first.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Lets touch very briefly on unhealthy coping mechanisms in a cautionary tale sort of way. I spent a substantial part of my life running away from issues and using unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with my issues instead of talking to someone. I mainly used alcohol, overeating, and smoking. Let me warn you that none of those things helped, ever. Because I took to those habits instead of dealing with my problems I now have diabetes, I was very close to liver and kidney failure, lung issues, and more than likely a mere months away from a stroke before I got some help. So please, if not for yourself but for your friends and family, please stay away from trying to replace hurt feelings with bad band-aids because they never cover enough to fix anything.

Other Tips for Healthy Living

  • Stay off your phone for the first 3 hours of the day. That’s it, I do not believe social media is mentally healthy but I don’t expect everyone to quit cold turkey, so instead just try to stay off it for the first three hours of your day and see how you feel.
  • Whenever you get the urge to go on social media, try doing a simple exercise before. You don’t need to get all geared up in the latest gym fashion, but just do some quick squats, jumping jacks, or stretches and think about what it is you’re really looking for when you want to go on there.
  • Meditate. There are great videos on YouTube that offer guided meditations until you can get the hang of it and do it for yourself.
  • Try to spend at least ½ hour a day outside. Take a little walk or sit outside and read a book or look for some of your local wildlife and snap a few pictures with your phone. It is a great way to soak up some vitamin D, which is essential for a healthy body and immune system. People are basically big dumb plants, we need lots of water and light and we do a lot better when we do, so remember to do those things.

Summary

That’s all the tips I have for now, and try to keep these three promises to yourself everyday. But remember, you are never in this alone. There are thousands of people waiting to help you but you must reach out first to let them know. You are valuable and you are loved, and don’t you ever think otherwise.